THE WEEKS FOLLOWING THE RESIGNATION, AND THE SWIRLING THOUGHTS.
Day 1 recap - as per my previous post I experienced the following feelings;
- Apprehension
- Numbness
- Unsure, have I made the right decision?
- Loss of good stable income
- The unknown, what if I fail?
- What happens if my studies don’t succeed and I go into a job that I don’t want to do? (Income less, not happy).
Day 2
I began to feel more at ease with my decision. A lot of the apprehension that was felt on day 1 had mellowed although not disappeared completely. Nonetheless it was only a minimal thought and there was a near inner peace with the decision.
Day 3-4
At this stage I was feeling excited about the opportunities that would present itself from skewing off the path which only a week earlier had been clearly defined. However, there is still cautious optimism because of the need that money is required to support this quest.
Other thoughts and feelings were;
- Plan to succeed, no matter what the income is-as long as I enjoy it!
- End of an era for me, and I will miss the people who I have worked with over the years.
- I will miss the company as well because that is all I know, although in some respects it has also pigeonholed me and now I have broken free from the hold.
- What will people think when I say that I'm not working and instead am studying? Loss of 'status' that came from a good position, important work.
- I am very appreciative of the supportive comments that my colleagues made of my decision. They are not surprised that I have decided to head into a different direction and believe that it suits me.
- I will miss the 'influence' of my position, and the respect that I have built up with my colleagues.
THE LAST DAY
A little emotional during the farewell speech, but sucked it up. I know that I will see a majority of these people again whether in person or on line. There in a way was a feeling of relief that the last day had now arrived and was closed so that I could now focus my attention on the future. Lots of drinks with my ex-colleagues after work celebrating the good times, the interesting times, the laughs. Although to be fair after a alcoholic lunch which led to late night - my memory is a little hazy.
NOW WHAT?
Well I have been accepted into a full time University course to follow my new direction in life. This is exactly what I want to do and is due to start in two weeks time. It has been one week since I finished up with the company and I did feel guilty during the first week that I was not working. I felt that I should be working. Probably for that matter I kept busy with preparing for study. I was reading a lot of material to get a start on what I will be learning. I have also been attending global conferences which support this career direction - so there hasn't really been much rest.
Of course, it is nice to have the ability to go to the local cafe when the weather is nice to enjoy a latte and not have to be locked into a 9-5 role :).
